If Chaotic Darkness was an outlaw riding the high plains of the Old West, and Darkness had a gun that would only hold one bullet, it would have to choose a bullet that was loaded to do the most damage. That bullet would be loaded with the energy of desperation.

Why do I refer to the “energy” of desperation? Well, because as a Clairvoyant, I recognize the world around me to be a tapestry of distinctive energy strands all woven together, each neatly labeled. The energy of desperation is as unique and identifiable as a fingerprint, and too often, I have witnessed that fingerprint smeared all throughout the ruins of people’s lives.

Desperation is more insidious than garden variety “fear”. Fears can be put to ease through education and applying oneself. Desperation cannot. It is an emotion that comes from twisting one’s perspective so badly that the very path one is on becomes blurred into an irrational nightmare. It is an energy based on the worry that “things will never get better”. It is a subtle and powerful poison so private to experience, and isolating, and terrifying, that most people really never understand how deeply their life is affected. Desperation ruins friendships, business and personal relationships, and opportunities. It’s the “mojo killer”.

Desperation fuels knee-jerk reactions. It creates prisons in our mind where there were formerly no walls. It creates a false sense of “purpose” in a person – “I was so desperate to pay my bills that I robbed a bank.” Desperation is a trickster. It convinces us that we have no other choice, so the desperate choice we make, which is rarely the right one, is suddenly acceptable, because of course we “had no choice”. (We ALWAYS have choices. We just may not like them.) Desperation clouds our judgment — our brains turn off and our “trapped like an animal instinct” turns on. Desperation is the intersection where worry and hopelessness meet.

There will always be times in life where we feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. It is at this juncture that Chaotic Darkness rides into town, takes aim right at our head, and shoots that one bullet loaded with desperation right between our eyes – and straight into our thought process. Unfortunately, being shot with desperation is not a quick death. It slowly leaks into our system and, just like a poison, begins to start systematically paralyzing our vital life functions: Logic, Reason, Compassion, Empathy, Truthfulness, Morality, and finally, the nail in the coffin — Self-Worth.

You can see why Darkness wields this energy.

However, there is an antidote to the poison known as desperation. And it’s manufactured inside each and every one of us. The challenge is to be able to reach the antidote and uncork it while in the throws of choking on a loss of logic, reason, compassion, empathy, truthfulness, morality, and self-worth. It comes down to a choice: Do I reach for the antidote? If you’re out hiking and you’re bitten by a rattlesnake and shouldn’t move (otherwise the poison will get to your heart faster), it creates a crossroads in choices — whether or not you should hike the mile back to camp for the rattlesnake venom antidote in your first aid kit.

The good news is that your antidote for desperation isn’t a mile away in a kit. It’s at your fingertips. The challenge in choices isn’t distance, but DISCIPLINE. Though powerful, desperation is an ILLUSION. It’s not real. It’s a subjective emotion brought on by a combination of deepest fears and a lack of information. The emotion feels real, but the hopelessness of the situation is not. The discipline is in choosing not to indulge the emotion. When that illusion of being trapped between a rock and a hard place plays upon our instinctual need to chew our own leg off to get out of the “trap” we perceive ourselves to be in – it’s time to enact discipline and slow down our racing minds, center ourselves, and remind ourselves that we, indeed, are not raccoons.

Choosing not to indulge the desperation is the antidote. Chaotic Darkness may shoot us square in the head with its most potent round, but it can’t kill us. The poison can’t even leak into our system if we have one hand on the antidote the whole time. Having one hand on the antidote is actually a discipline that we learn, over time, because many of us are conditioned to react like panicked rabbits in a mine field once tough times weigh upon us. As one can imagine – that kind of “scatter” literally turns into “scattered”. Had at least one of the rabbits kept its head, it would have been able to chart a path out of the mine field by simply observing where the mines had already exploded.

Developing the discipline to not react in desperation is easier than you may think. It’s as easy as having a ten second conversation with yourself, once when you first wake up, and once when you go to sleep. You say to yourself, out loud:

“No matter what happens today/tomorrow, I am not trapped. I control my choices, and God (Light/The Universe/Karma) controls the justice.” …then, let any issue you have fall within those guidelines. If your subconscious hears you tell yourself this mantra over and over again, it will eventually believe you, as a first response to conflict, rather than digesting the poison of desperation in a conflict. Your subconscious’ ability to believe in YOU is one of the main ingredients in the antidote.

As an adult, you are never a victim of your own life. Sometimes we choose to remain in difficult situations for a number of reasons – to learn, to grow, because we are too afraid to make a change, because we can’t afford to yet make a change – but we are in full control of that choice to remain. There are always alternatives. Desperation only erupts in our being when we are not able to believe that we can provide ourselves with alternatives to overcome the situation.

As someone who also works in the entertainment field in music, film, and TV, I have had my own battles with desperation throughout my life, mostly when I was young and really believed that the world would fall apart if my artistic needs weren’t met – ahhhh, Ego, thy name is youth 🙂 . As I’ve grown into adulthood, it’s become increasingly obvious to me that the more desperate a person is, the more unstable their energy is, and the less other people want to be around them — which, of course, makes the desperate person feel even more desperate. I have many friends who work as performers in the entertainment industry, and I’ve noticed a quantifiable difference between the ones who have achieved the kind of success where many of you would know them as household names, and the ones that haven’t. The difference is the level of desperation between the very successful people, and the ones who aren’t yet where they wished they would be in their careers.

Sure, one could argue that it’s easy not to be desperate when you’re on top. BUT, the fact that the people on top weren’t very desperate to begin with – they just loved doing what they were doing, and showed up to their film sets with joy in their hearts to be there – is one of the reasons that the fantastic opportunities kept flowing to them, to the point of them becoming household names. This goes back to the now-popular “Law of Attraction”, or as I more accurately like to refer to it, “Like Attracts Like”. If I’m a loving person who is enthusiastically going to work everyday and auditioning and giving my best, I will draw to me other loving people who wish me to be part of their project who are willing to give me their best. If I have gratitude for every job that I have, no matter how big or small, then I will be granted jobs that are grateful to have me. Yet if I am constantly worrying, WHILE I have the job, that I will not get another, then I will draw to me an absence of work. If I am resentful toward the job that I have because I think it’s not big enough, I will draw jobs to me where I am resented, and I will be thought of as small. If I choose a job because I’m desperate someone won’t see me as a genius, then I will be thought of as an imbecile while on the job. Like Attracts Like.

That’s the way it works, folks. Simple, slightly painful sometimes, but thankfully – easy to fix, once we choose to have discipline over our thought process. Once we choose not to give into the illusion of desperation, we are instantly made aware of the fact that just because we feel afraid, and we can’t see how it will all turn out, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work out well for us.

Remaining calm in the face of adversity in order to enact Faith is very important in administering the antidote against desperation — Faith in our ability to make the right choices, even if the choices seem hard. Faith that The Universe has “what’s yours” in store for you, and that it’s on its way, even if you can’t yet see it coming. Faith that it will all work out, as long as you bring gratitude, honesty, and hard work to the table in your life. Faith to understand that we don’t get to have all the answers along the way. That’s not our job. Our job is to be the best version of “us” that we can, everyday. The rest is left to The Universe. We are magnificent, capable, infinitely creative, and powerful – but we are not the power of The Universe. We are not God. Nor do we need to be in order to manifest happiness, security, fulfillment peace, and safety in our own lives. We simply need to have faith in the Spiritual System, and mostly – in ourselves, that we will DO the right thing. We live in a three dimensional environment down here, and “doing” is very important. I could tell you that you’ll win the lottery, but if you don’t actually go to the corner market and buy a ticket, well…

To indulge desperation really does sell a person short. It is to believe that there is nothing else left for you. And there is NEVER “nothing else left”. That is the biggest illusion of all. You are far too valuable to The Universe to have no life path left, simply because a current situation feels pending. Situations come and situations go, but your spirit, and your ability to weather a tough situation, is far more resilient.

Your future is anything you wish to make it. You are worth far more than the energy of desperation. And let’s face it – who wants to be target practice for Darkness?